All alone I seem to brake
by xXxForceFedLiexXx
Summary: one shot 'I can't take it any more the pain is too much so I'll end it all tonight' warning character deth


**this is my first story so it probably sux**

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all alone I seem to brake

**I stair deep in thought at the campfire flames I have been thinking about this a lot and have decided tonight was the night. **

**things just haven't felt the same in a long time I've found my self desperately clinging to any thing to make the pain go away, to numb my self until I can no longer even make a coherent thought. all to escape it just hurts so bad .**

**it started about 8 months ago I just didn't feel alive any more it was as if my sole had died the only thing that kept me from killing my self a long time ago was the need to lead and protect my flock but that seems irrelevant now because it is obvious they are fine without me. **

**they have been functioning without me just fine for the past month. I had basically been hiding the fact that I was depressed pretty good but angel was suspicious of the fact that she couldn't reed my thoughts any more then 4 months ago fang found cuts on my wrist he freaked and we had a meeting the they that told me to "stop cus we cair about you" I was too far gone even when angel started crying I didn't care, I just wanted to be left alone but I put on a mask of fake regret and told them all I would change and quit cutting. **

**I didn't and a month later I started drinking the flock could see I was falling apart but they didn't care they just turned their heads and pretended every thing was as it was supposed to be. **

**it was only last month did I give up entirely. we were fighting some erasers and I just thought what was the point really I didn't want to live so why not so I just stopped and let the erasers overtake me but they were beaten back by the flock be fore they could kill me. **

**so after that day fang had unofficially officially taken over as flock leader.**

**I finger the blade in my palm making my way further and further away from our camp site in the woods. I had waited till every one had fallen asleep then made my way deep into the surrounding forest. **

**then I finally stopped at a small clearing in the woods where the full mood shown thru the leaves at a fallen tree. I then pulled out the blade while sinking to the ground, I stared at the blade for a long moment as I thought I would finally be getting my wish and all the reasons for it came flooding into my head. **

**a song I had herd before came to my mind. **

_**Memories consume like opining the wounds **_

_**I'm picking me apart again **_

_**you all asume im safe hear in my room**_

_**unless I try to start again**_

I pull the blade close to my skin revealing in the feel of the cold steel across my forearm as I place it at my wrist

_**I don't want to be the one the battles always chose **_

_**cus in side I realise that I'm the one confused **_

I start the cut pressing as hard as I can while slowly pulling up my arm

_**I don't know whats worth fighting for or why I half to scream **_

_**I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean **_

_**I don't know how I got this way Ill never be alright**_

I lift the blade to see crimson pouring from my left arm as I place the blade once more on my right

_**so I'm braking the habit **_

_**I'm braking the habit tonight **_

blood seeps down my arms now in large amounts and I know it is now only a matter of time till the cold vice like grip of deth will have come

_**clutching my cure I tightly lock the door **_

_**I try to catch my breath again**_

_**I hurt much more than Any time before I have no options left again **_

my breths are now coming in small rasps now and im starting to feel cold

_**I don't want to be the one the battles always chose **_

_**cus inside I realise that I'm the one confused **_

_**I don't know whats worth fighting for or why I have to scream **_

_**I don't know why I instigate say what I don't mean **_

_**I don't know how I got this way Ill never be alright**_

I look back and can just barley make out the dim light of the camp fire then I lean back my Head to look at the night sky for it will be the last I see

_**so im braking the habit **_

_**I'm braking the habit tonight **_

_**Ill paint it on the walls cus I'm the one at fault **_

_**Ill never fight again **_

_**and this is how it ends **_

my vision has now become hazy darkness seeps in at the corners it may be that my head is playing tricks on me, Iv lost a lot of blood, but I think I see a blurry figure off in the distance

_**I don't know whats worth fighting for or why I have to scream **_

_**but now I have some clarity to show you what I mean**_

_**I don't know how I got this way Ill never be alright **_

something shakes me violently but I cant see Any more I can barely hear or feel Any thing but I was almost sure I herd my name

_**so I'm braking a habit **_

_**I'm braking the habit**_

_**I'm braking the habit tonight**_

its over now im falling into the final black abis and no one cares no one knows


End file.
